The Craziness of Rankings

My book's ranking on Amazon.com was 1,887,056 for a while (yes, it is quite daunting to even think about possibilities when it's that far off from #1). Then a friend from my high school days told me that he had ordered a copy from Amazon. The next day, I checked my ranking (I don't obsessively check my ranking because that's one sure way to depress myself) after I updated some info on my author's page. It said my ranking was 370,892. Now, when I just checked, it was 620,357. I'm sure I'll be right out there at 1,xxx,xxx,xxx soon.

My Barnes and Noble ranking continues to hover around 320,xxx. I guess all the books signings are working their magic on the ranking :)

All the more reason why I shouldn't pay any attention to rankings at all.

A Thrill

A person who just finished reading my book emailed me and told me that it was "enthralling!" What a compliment! I hope I'll never take these wonderful feedbacks for granted, no matter how successful I become (if I get that lucky).

The weird thing is...after the book was published, I have had a hard time reading it again because...
1. I must have read the manuscript more than I care to count when I was editing it over and over. When I had to edit one last time before it was submitted for publishing, I've asked my husband to put me out of my misery.
2. I keep noticing all the place where I could have written better.

I'm only human and I have to admit it makes me feel very good to get these feedbacks, especially since I feel very insecure about my writing because...
1. English is my second language.
2. I majored in Mechanical Engineering in college.
3. I didn't formally study writing or literature.

I think I'll just stop here. Anyhow, thank you for all those who encourage me in so many ways. I do need these to fight my insecurity.

But...what I want most of all is to become a better writer. And in order for me to do that, I need to know what I'm not doing well. And for obvious reasons (especially from my friends or acquaintances), I don't get criticisms very often. I am very open to inputs of every kind, and as I embark on this journey to edit and rewrite my behemoth manuscript, I really need them. All I ask is to be kind.

I did get some real nasty ones from an agent before and they leave you breathless in abject misery (unfortunately, these were not very helpful because they were generalities). Abject misery would be OK, at least momentarily, if there was something I learned and gained in the process. Good thing I bounce back fairly quickly.

A Fantastic Day

I'm a day late, but, I just didn't have the energy or the inclination to write a blog last night.

Yesterday, I had a radio interview at KPFA, 94.1 FM for a program called Full Circle. I was soooooo glad that it was a recorded interview and not live. I do pretty well on presentations and I can hold my own when it comes to conversation, but it’s all the ums and ahs that I was concerned with. Jane, my interviewer, helped me feel comfortable. She was gracious, encouraging, and engaging. I don’t know what the interview is going to sound like, but I felt pretty good coming out of the interview. I’m crossing my fingers and hoping for the best.

On our way back home (my son was with me because his school had a teacher’s work day), we stopped at the Barnes and Noble bookstore in Dublin. There I was able to schedule a book signing at the end of February.

But the best thing about the day was the time I got to spend with my son walking around the Berkeley campus and telling him stories about what I did when I was there. We went to one of my favorite restaurants (it was still in business after all these years and the food still tasted pretty similar to what I remembered) and had lunch. I was walking around in a glow of happiness with my son. I think he’d rather do something else, but he was very indulgent with me.

I was praying for my in duk to kick in and I think Jane happened. I am so grateful for this opportunity to share my experience and book with others. I hope I'll be able to reach a lot of people this way. And even if I don't, it was a great experience. What a wonderful way to get my feet wet!


Upcoming Events:


Book signing at Barnes and Noble, Fremont – 2/6/10, 1 – 3 pm

KPFA, 94.1 FM Radio Interview air time – 2/12/10, 7 – 7:30 pm

Book signing at Barnes and Noble, Dublin – 2/27/10, 1 – 3 pm

Book talk and book signing at the Hayward Main Library, Hayward – 3/6/10, 1 – 3 pm

Two Masters

I think it's in the Bible somewhere that a slave cannot serve two masters. Well, mulling over two different books is doing nothing for my writing efforts. Because I've written nothing since November 2009, I need to face the fact that I could go on marketing and selling Waiting for Appa, and maybe even find some measure of success, but without another book, it's just a dead end.

So..., I've made a decision. I'm going to work on the adult literary fiction. I've read over a few chapters today and I like my revisions so far. I just have to keep at it. And knowing that it's a long haul is definitely making it difficult. Then there is the sheer size of the manuscript. I'm afraid that after I make the additions, it's going to about 500+ pages and I need to pare that down to about 350 or so.... Wish me luck.

I got a good review from one of the mom's I met at Little Gym. I'm glad that she enjoyed it. Stuff like that makes me really happy. Continuing on with the happy theme, I'm doing a radio interview (not live, thank goodness) next Wednesday. I had a good talk with the interviewer today and I'm both nervous and excited about it. I guess that's normal considering that this is my first interview (not counting Korean newspaper articles) ever.

Now on to the bad news.... I've made a decision. I'm going to give up on getting my books into Borders bookstores. I sent an email to my publisher on Tues. Got no response. So I called today. She said she doesn't know of anything she could do from her end. She told me to go back to the bookstore to get a BINC #. I don't understand why this process has to be so painful and cumbersome..., especially when my book is already available online through Borders.com. I'll try to make my way back to the bookstore and see if I can find something else to do that will make a difference. After that, I'm going to stop wasting my time. Argh!

Encouraging events

You know, when you make $37.40 for a quarter (yes, a quarter, not a month, not a week, but for three months of book sales) of royalties, you quickly learn not to expect too much. But when you don't expect too much (I don't know how I can expect anything at that point), you get pleasantly surprised. My second quarter's royalties may inch above $70! Imagine that!

Although I couldn't schedule an event last week, I was able to schedule a book signing at a Barnes and Noble bookstore in Fremont, CA this week. I think I'm off to a good start.

Now on to writing...unfortunately I haven't written anything, BUT I've been doing a lot of thinking and plotting. The bad part is I'm still torn between young adult fantasy which allows me to have a lot of fun and share that with my voraciously reading son or a literary fiction which takes me to the Japanese prisons of occupied Korea. Hmmm.... It would be an easy choice if it hadn't been for the fact that the literary fiction is about 60% done (even if I rewrite much of it) and agents responded very well to it last time. I did have an agent for it in 2000, but she couldn't sell it after having the 5 major publishing houses take a look at it. So..., here I am. Conflicted and procrastinating.

Poetry. I really wish I could write it, but I can't. If there's a book that can teach me to write it, I want to know the title of the book. For the YA fantasy, I need to write a small segment of prophesy and I would love to do it in verse, but I can't. I'm just not a poet and I know it.

In Duk

When I was a child, my mother told me I was born with in duk and that being born with in duk was better than being born wealthy. In duk literally means people luck, that people you meet in your life's journey will help you along the way.

Well, making a decent living as a writer is my dream that I'm working on, but there is a dream that's dearer to my heart. I want to see my book translated into Korean because I want my parents to be able to read it. Yes, that is the sad reality of immigrants. Even though my parents have lived here over 30 years, their conversation was limited to asking customers what they want and how much things cost (they've owned several small businesses). And they never had the luxury of time to attend ESL classes (even though they both wanted to) since they often held more than two jobs or worked all the overtime offered to make ends meet while we were growing up.

Well...today I met a group of writers at the Korean-American writer's group meeting who were fascinating to talk to and learn from. These were writers and poets who were in their 50's and older. They graciously shared their insights with me and encouraged me. I'm hoping that they'll be able to point me in the right direction as far as getting my book published in Korean. Of course, I can pay a translator and self-publish a Korean version of my book, but I'm hoping that the material is compelling enough to find some Korean publisher who is willing to take a risk.

I had a wonderful time, but I had to leave in the middle of the meeting because I had to go pick up my son from his school (it was a long meeting). I guess that's it's like for a part-time writer and a full-time mom.

I'm praying for my in duk to kick in. A new hope is gestating in my heart.

Inspiration

I was at my daughter's gymnastics class (she's only three, so there's not much real gymnastics happening here) when one of the moms who bought my book before Christmas told me how much she enjoyed my book. She flew across the country to visit her family, but all she did the first day was trying to finish my book between her son's naps and playtimes.

It meant a lot to me, especially because I feel uninspired and unmotivated right now. We spent the next hour talking about my book, my writing process, my inspirations and her dream of writing a book of her own - a religious, non-fiction book. At the end of the class, she told me how much I helped her, inspired her, encouraged her, etc., but all I can think was...you helped me get my motivation back. Thank you for reminding me why I want to make this happen. Also, talking to her helped me think about the talk coming up in March.

I am determined to write something tonight. I'm hoping that it'll be something worth keeping.

Pick your battles

I'm at a point where I think I'm going to give up trying to get book signings scheduled in Borders bookstores. I'm going in circles, always ending up with a recorded message which tells me nothing about how to proceed. Ugh!

I guess I should explain.... In order for a book to be sold at the Borders bookstores, every book has to have Borders specific BINC#. This is on top of having your book be "returnable" from the publishers (when you self-publish with a print-on-demand company, you have to pay a lot of money to get this option). I thought everything was set once I saw that my book was available through Borders.com, but no. So, after 5 phone calls and 2 emails which led to nothing concrete to follow through, I'm of the opinion that my time could be better spent doing something else, like building my own website.

One of the independent bookstores I was counting on to have my book signing was highly discouraging about my chances of success at his store. It's more locally driven audience and I'm not from there.

I never thought this would be easy, but it's hard to keep myself motivated and upbeat sometimes. I guess I should work on my next book....

I know the real place I need to work on is creating a buzz online, but I don't know what to do with that. I guess I need to spend my time reading upon online marketing.

Woo Hoo!

What a difference a day makes! I'm happy to report that I met my "schedule an event a week" goal for this week. I am scheduled to give a book talk at the Hayward Library on 3/6/10. I just hope that this book talk event will fare better than last one. It's guaranteed...no one showed up for the last one.

I did "sell" a book today (I didn't actually get paid, yet) to someone I know. I hope she enjoys it. One down. 1999 to go.

This last one might be the hardest goal to hit. Right now, I'm not really inspired to work on my first book (a historical fiction that takes place in Korea in the early 1900's during the Japanese occupation). A lot of the comments back from the agents were that it needed to be anchored in history (they found the stories of women fascinating, but not fascinating enough to take me on, yet). Well, that means I need to read a lot of unpleasant stuff that happened - torture, massacre, comfort women, police tactics, the worst prisons, etc. I've read the research material once already, but I know I need to read it at least a couple more times and I'm not really looking forward to it. After a bout with one of these and I need to cleanse my head and give it a lot of reading candy.

AND looming behind that, rather threateningly, is the actual task of writing the additional material. So...I'll be very happy if I can actually get myself to start writing by the end of the week.

Still, I'm keeping my focus. Woo Hoo! I have my first event scheduled!

Goals

I had hoped to have a "running start" in 2010, but I have yet to schedule a single event due to getting sick on New Year's Eve and fever finally breaking 4 days later. Needless to say, it was not an aspiring start.

There are three predominant ways to contact a book store manager and have them schedule an event for your book - email, phone call, or going there in person. Well, to be honest, first two ways just don't work, for me anyway. I have yet to have any of them reply my email or call me back. Compounding this problem is that when I do have time during mornings and early afternoons, these managers are seldom in the store because they usually come in late and get off close to the closing time. If I could drive around in the late afternoons and evenings, this matter would be simple to deal with, but I have two young kids and it's difficult to find time. So, I'll just have to make time in the evenings to call.... I have to remember that it's me that's chasing a dream. Not them. I need to be thankful for their time and consideration.

I have set some goals (some lofty and others not so lofty....)
1. Schedule an event every week.
2. Sold about 200 books last year. Sell 2,000 this year? When I do the math, I want to laugh and give up, but heck, I was always a dreamer....
3. Finish editing my first book (I can't remember how many times I've edited this manuscript and I'm definitely not looking forward to it again) and query (landing an agent would just make my year) or have it ready for self-publication by the end of the year (Waiting for Appa is the second book I've completed).

I've listed another two books for Goodreads.com's book giveaway. That's a great way to get exposure and get reviews. I'm happy to say that the reviews are positive. I need to find more ways to get online exposure.

Ultimately, I am so profoundly grateful to have this opportunity to chase my dream. How about you?