Why self-publish?

Waiting for Appa was pretty much in this manuscript form since 2004. I tried many, many times to find an agent, but there was something about this book that just didn't quite make it (a couple of agents read the manuscript twice, after rewrites). Even with all that heartache and frustration, I never considered the option of self-publishing because of the stigma of it being a "vanity." Well, at least not until 2009.

When my first book landed an agent in 2000, it made it to five publishing houses (Penguin, Random House, Harper-Collin, Morrow, and can't remember the 5th one). It got rejected, but one of the editors who read the 1st manuscript said that she'd be willing to read the 2nd one if I ever wrote one. So, without an agent, I sent her the manuscript in 2005. It took her a little over a year to read it and sent it back with a nice rejection letter. But the letter was so encouraging that I spent the next two years trying, once again, to find an agent while attending a writer's conference and reading as much as I can about writing, selling, and most importantly, landing an agent. Well, I still couldn't find an agent and December of 2008 was one of the most miserable time periods in my life because I felt that I need to make a decision soon. It's hard to own up to the fact that you just don't have what it takes to live your dream.

I was raised in a Presbyterian home. My grandmother proudly proclaiming to me when I was young that I came from three generation of Christian women (I don't know what she would think of my beliefs right now, though). Anyhow, in January 2009, I started praying earnestly - not for some agent to pick me up, but 1) for a sign, and 2) for my heart to accept no as answer (I was giving myself three months). Yes isn't the only way God answers prayers. No is an answer.

As I was going through this, I thought of different ways to market my book and picked two writers I didn't consider before and a third one just because I liked her book. I began digging into their first books, their publishing house, their agents and editors and guess what I've found? The two writers I picked self-published their first books (Richard Paul Evans and William P. Young). And Lalita Tademy had considered self-publishing initially. I thought wow, all three leading to self-publishing.... Hm.... But I still resisted. Then on January 31, I was surfing the web and found an article on Time.com. I can't remember the exact title, but it went something like this...Wild, Wild West of Self-publishing. The article was saying that self-publishing is becoming respectable and that it functions like a minor league to the major league baseball. The good ones percolate up and get picked up. It show cased Lisa Genova who self-published her book through iUniverse and now signed a big contract. Well, that did it for me. I've been praying for a sign and here were four big ones. On February 3, I made a call to iUniverse and here I am.

I don't know where I would be if the signs said no. I probably revised my resume and may have gone back to work in the high tech industry. I don't know.... Maybe the answer still could be no at the end of all this. No matter what the path, I would like to think that God, the universe, whatever you might call it wanted me to learn something in the process.