I thought I was handling the abject failure of my talk yesterday very well, but today...today is a new day. I had to admit, I feel crushed. I'm usually a cheerful, optimistic kind of person, but it was depressing to get up. I tried to concentrate on the positive Barnes and Noble experience, but I couldn't shake off the depressing thoughts that came at me in waves. My first book talk in my hometown where I grew up as a child.... The branch manager was so helpful in trying to get the word out.... I couldn't stop thinking about it and analyzing it. Tuesday evening at 7pm probably wasn't the best time slot for a book talk.... I wanted to bury myself under a mound of blankets and just sleep. But when I tried to do just that, I couldn't fall asleep. I didn't want to do anything.
In my head, I knew it didn't mean anything unless I let it mean something. But my heart was nursing a wound that was bigger than I originally thought. So, in my efforts to shake off the blues, I went Christmas shopping (found perfect presents for my brothers), had lunch with wonderful friends who gave me a lot of air time to vent, and spent a nice afternoon with my son. I was feeling better and better as the day went on. I just have to get through today.
Tomorrow is another day. Maybe I'll schedule my next book signing with Barnes and Noble Fremont. Maybe I'll swing by Borders in Milpitas and try to catch the manager to talk about book signing. Tomorrow is a brand new day with endless possibilities.
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