I'm still trying to decide what I should do next. I firmly believe in taking the criticism as well as praise (I'm not so sure there was much of this, at least to me). So, what am I going to do?
1. The negative remarks about Jihae's (Lizzie character) "bitchy" attitude toward Donghoon
(Darcy character) was unjust (I feel). But if that's the perception from this reviewer, then I am thinking about softening her character a bit (even though none of my readers ever mentioned it to me as a needed correction).
This is the reason if you decide to sign up for Kirkus Review Indie, you should send a DIGITAL copy of your book rather than a hard copy. Several weeks into the review cycle, the assistant editor asked for a digital copy, and I couldn't provide it to him in a timely manner (this was NOT a requirement). So, since the reviewer had to finish my review in a set amount of time, I think the reviewer found it within
first several chapters (because he/she couldn't easily search for items easily in hard copy) and just settled on it. I used word "bitchy" once in the
400+ page manuscript, and he/she called that out as an example of negative
characterization of Lizzie character. This was unfortunate.
Though I think it was unfortunate for the reviewer to characterize Jihae based on one word she uses self-mockingly while talking to her best friend, I will work to soften her character.
2. The reviewer pointed out that by taking out Wikham-Lydia set piece from my book (I've replaced it with something else), I've weakened Donghoon's (Darcy's) character. That Donghoon doesn't have a chance to earn Jihae's trust like Darcy does with Lizzie. That Donghoon has to wait things out rather than take action to save Lizzie's dire family situation.
In Five Stones, I didn't want Jihae to make a decision, even partially, based on how helpful Donghoon had been to her family. I feel that my conflict replacing Wikham-Lydia set piece has sufficient strength of its own, but Donghoon (Darcy) is less active in this new set piece. So, I decided to add a conflict close to Wikham-Lydia set piece back into Five Stones. Hopefully, this will give Donghoon a chance to play the hero.
3. I need to work on my "competent, workmanlike writing." Again, I don't completely agree with "workmanlike," but I do have to be mindful of that perception.
I think I've said it before, but I am very aware of the fact that 1) English is my second-language, 2) I majored in Mechanical Engineering (maybe my written English would be more whimsical had I majored in English...; however, several times, my Engineering professors have commented that I should leave flowery language off of my Mechanical Engineering lab reports), and 3) I'm still in the process of experimenting, learning, and growing as a writer.
4. The reviewer also uses another modern Austen spin-off as an example as what's missing in Five Stones. I heartily agree that Five Stones is very different from the example, because I didn't like the book in question.
Now, I do have a plan for my fixes. Even Wikham-Lydia set piece is falling into place nicely, at least in my notebook. But one advice I have for you is for you to send a DIGITAL copy of your book.
Happy Writing!
